The Brattychick

to me... "What's wrong with you?! You broke my menu and then you slapped me on the forehead with it!"

"Get your finger out of the jukebox."

Heidi: She is crazy as the days are long. Jamie : Why are the days so long? The days aren't anywhere near as long as she is crazy.

Heidi: How is it that Burger King's fries suck, but their hash browns are good? Dexter : Mommy, you said a bad word. Miles : No, it's ok. Daddy 's not here.

Heidi: I dated a boy down that street...It was Will. Heidi: Oh and I dated a boy down that street too. Jamie : Um, yeah. I had a feeling that would happen. Heidi: It was Jon . Jamie: Right. Heidi: And I have an ex-boyfriend, Lukas , that lived down there, and Tim lived that way. Jamie: it's the tour of Mommy's ex-boyfriends! The tour that takes forever . Miles : Why does it take forever? Jamie: Because Mommy had all the ex-boyfriends. Heidi: What does that mean? That I had all the boyfriends that were to be had? Jamie: Yes. Heidi: That's not nice. Jamie: There are like, what, 5 boys that you were friends with that were in date-able age range that you didn't go out with. Heidi: I'm sure I can think of 10.

Klaussen Asana=pickle pose Spread Eagle Konasin....slut pose

T: I had to return C's stupid shoes today. They were a size 14 and they're still too small. I: Size 14. Wow. Heidi: Hmmm. You know what they say about guys with big feet. T: Yes I do... Heidi: Yeah, big hands. I: Poor M is only a size 11. Heidi: Jamie is a size 9 or something. T: Oh, poor Jamie! I: Poor Heidi! Heidi: ...Umm, no actually he's good. T: Yeah, you all are obviously just fine.

"It hurts when you braid my hair. It feels like a hair earring. A herring."

"First of all, BATCAVE, second of all, what?"

Thomas : I thought you said 'I'm selling.' Heidi: I'm selling marijuana. I'm selling grass and free love in the woods. Thomas: You're selling free love in the woods? Heidi: Oh yeah, that's not good. Thomas: Yeah that sounds like it could be a problem. Jamie : How much do you charge for free love?