The Brattychick

StepfordHater: Where have you been? Heidi: i've been around why? StepfordHater: Haven't seen you in ages, not even running into you at TJ. Miss you. I can't believe Cole is 13. Heidi: sigh i know yikes i hate tj not the school I just have a phobia of other parents StepfordHater: I like talking to people. But sometimes it just makes me feel like a freak. Heidi: I fear that I am being judged although I may not be but I don't believe myself when myself tries to talk reason StepfordHater: Pfft. I think we can safely say that most of the time we ARE being judged. Heidi: Oh good! You think I am being judged too? So myself is not as crazy as myself previously thought? Or at least yourself is AS crazy as myself StepfordHater: lol. Silly. I think I'm being judged. But yeah, I'm sure you're being judged too. And statement #3 is my choice Heidi: awesome Also I am judging them but don't tell anyone While they talk Elmo and potty training with th...

Pot In The Fridge, your lid has come off while I was getting a piece of birthday cake, (that had pleasantly surprised me because I thought we had nothing to eat) I will just replace it without looking because you've been in there so long I don't remember what you are holding anymore ...and I am frightened. Maybe Jamie will be brave enough to clean you out like, next time we need to make pasta or something.

Thomas , David, & Melanie were raving about the movie Where the Wild Things Are . So last night I went to the movies all by myself, for the first time ever, I think. For those of you that are not familiar, Where the Wild Things Are is a well loved children's picture book by Maurice Sendak. The book is certainly less than 100 words long, and so Max and The Wild Things are not given their full personalities by literature alone. The pictures, and what your imagination does with them, fill in the gaps and reach places that words cannot. I was really curious as to how writers Spike Jonze and David Eggers were going to go about stretching this short book into a movie. Especially a book that wasn't theirs. Not one of The Wild Things in the book says anything that isn't in unison with the other Wild Things. I would be terrified to expand on a character that was another writer's vision with only illustrations to go by. And they had to create several in addition to fleshing...

What is something your mom always says to you? "This room is a mess." What makes your mom happy? The computer. What makes your mom sad? When Daddy falls asleep when you're talking to him. Which has happened one time. Like right now. How does your mom make you laugh? When she pinches my bosom. What was your mom like as a child? I dunno. Some little girl. How old is your mom? 30 something. How tall is your mom? I don't know, maybe 2 feet or something. What is her favorite thing to do? Smell people's feet and make a horrible noise. What does your mom do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around. Maybe sit and play Youda Sushi Chef until midnight and fall asleep and watch Eddie Izzard for the fiftieth time. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? For the biggest nostrils ever. What is your mom really good at? Facebook. What is your mom not very good at? Doing tongue twisters. What does your mom do for a job? Answer phones and watch monk...

What is something your mom always says to you? She says "Cole, did you pee all over the toilet seat?" You always ask me that first. Your like 'I'll bet it was him .' What makes your mom happy? Facebook games. What makes your mom sad? When we haven't had a vacation in too long. How does your mom make you laugh? She, um, does funny stuff. What was your mom like as a child? Nasty. She was bad. You were. How old is your mom? Um, I don't know. How tall is your mom? I wouldn't know that. What is her favorite thing to do? Play the piano? (I was drumming my fingers on the counter at the time) What does your mom do when you're not around? I really don't want to know. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? For facebook stuff. What is your mom really good at? Ooooohhhh! (He starts doing standing push-ups against the counter top) What is your mom not very good at? This is terrible. What does your mom do for a job? She works someplace. What is yo...

What is something your mom always says to you? I will kill everyone! What makes your mom happy? When I finish my routine and when I give her a kiss and a hug and a hug and a kiss. What makes your mom sad? When I go in time out. That REALLY makes you sad. That, and also when I don't clean my room and it's so messy that you can't walk in and give me a goodnight kiss. How does your mom make you laugh? When she does that laugh that you "uh huh huh huh" (dorky laugh) and maybe you can put that on youtube. You can put a video of it where you go "uh huh huh". What was your mom like as a child? She liked when her room was clean....maybe. And she liked thinking about what her children would be like, maybe. How old is your mom? 30 How tall is your mom? She is as tall as 7 and a half of Daddy's Winnie the Pooh toys. What is her favorite thing to do? Saying "I will kill everyone! " and give me a goodnight kiss and a hug and give me hugs and kisses, tec...

Finish moving my blog from Myspace to here. Blog 157 times Lose weight Get out of debt Do 365 things that make me happy by the end of the year. Rules: Said thing must last at least 15 minutes and TV shows and video games don't count. Work on my degree. Improve my marriage and family by doing specific things. Get the house cleaned up to my satisfaction and not anyone else's stupid-over-the-top yuppie standard. Improve spirituality. Ask for help 12 times. And just for giggles, my resolutions and results from last year: Blog every day. Not even close. I screwed this one up the second week. Get skinnier. Gained 10 pounds. Get the f-ing house clean. The house is much cleaner, but still not clean enough. Start taking classes again after a year hiatus. This sort of happened, but the issue that took place wasn't my fault, so I am giving myself credit for this one. Perform in some capacity each month. Nein. Cut back on eating meat and cheese. Cheese is delicious . Do things that ma...

I have now been tagged thrice ( Jennifer , Jeramie , Kelly) for this little exercise, so I suppose it's time to do it. I'm struggling to think of things that I haven't already written about, especially since I did something similar to this a while back, but here goes. I usually care more for people than they do for me. This is hard to swallow. I would probably be a lot more devastated if you died then you would be if the tables were turned. So you can rest assured that when you think no one cares, that I love you to pieces. Part of it has to do with... ...the fact that I have an incredible memory. I remember a lot more than most people do about each relationship, no matter how insignificant it was. Ask me what I remember about you. You'll be surprised. Sometimes I can even remember conversations verbatim. I am very candid and forthright. I do have some things that are secrets from most people, but I have told all of my secrets to at least one person. Just not the sam...

I've just had a sad epiphany. All of my children are boys. Judging from my brothers and my husband, what that means is that after years of loving them above all else and devoting every minute of the day to their care and happiness, they will grow up and I will hardly ever hear from them again. So why am I doing this? Go call your mother.

I took Cole to see Surf's Up today. It's a cute kids movie about surfing penguins. There was an old washed up surfer penguin who had faked his own death because he didn't knew he was going to lose a surfing contest and he didn't want to disappoint his fans. He became a fat hermit in the woods. So his biggest idol is this novice surfing penguin and of course they meet. They end up at the hermit penguins old beach shack. The old penguin begins reminiscing and he looked so sad as he touched his old surf boards and picked up his ukulele out of the sand. I understood how he felt. I feel old and washed up and fat too. There are memories from my past that I miss so much . I probably spend way too much time visiting those memories. I can play them back like movies in my mind. Things have been different for me. I got pregnant immediately after high school, and within a year I was married with a family. Even after all this time, every once in a while I grieve over the lost car...

While watching the Olympics I find myself being so jealous...of everyone. Even the ones doing sports that I'm not interested in. I really want to do all of them, and do it just as well as them. I am a covetous person, but not in the conventional way. I am not usually jealous of someone's car or clothes or looks, but jealous of their various talents. Even those who have worked on their talents for years. I want to be the most creative, fastest, smartest, and best at every instrument, sport, and type of dance. I realize that this is one of the seven deadly sins and also in the top ten . I know that this is a major character flaw, but am not sure where it comes from or what to do about it. I also feel sad that I won't get to explore every corner of the Earth, so I think part of the coveting it is that I want to experience everything . I nearly have a panic attack when I think about how that is not possible to do in this life. You'd think that this would drive me to make my...

Cole : Do you have a quarter for the jukebox? Heidi: No. Cole: Does Thomas or David? Heidi: No. None of us have any change or cash. We only have credit cards. We are trust fund babies and housewives. David: Mmmmm...Feels good!

As I was trying to figure out if clothes in my car were clean or dirty I picked up a pair of the boys' undies and did the sniff test and said, "I can't believe I have to sniff socks and the crotch of things to see if they're dirty." My mother-in-law responded, "Oh, why are you doing that? You are so brave or stupid."

I am going to try to blog every day this year. There will probably be a lot of rambling on whilst sleeping pills take hold. Those blogs are always fun in the morning. They're a surprise to all, including myself. There will also probably be a lot of good-for-nothing blog-vomit, so I apologize for that in advance. Here are the other resolutions: 1. Get skinnier (of course). 2. Get the f-ing house clean. 3. Start taking classes again after a year hiatus. 4. Perform in some capacity each month. 5. Cut back on eating meat and cheese. 6. Do things that make me happy.

I never answer my home phone. Usually when it rings my response is "F off!" or "What is this?" I always wonder who could possibly be calling me and what in the world they could want. I feel like I have absolutely no information that someone would actually require. Of course that's ridiculous. Sometimes I don't answer because I am in the middle of something really important like blogging or laying naked on my bed at 2:30 pm. I can't be interrupted during that stuff! Other times I'm helping with homework or we're having dinner or one-on-one time with one of the kids and I don't answer the phone during that. Every once in a while our phone gets this glitch. The glitch is that when people call us they get a recording that their phone is out of order. It's brilliant because it takes them days to realize that their phone is only out of order when they call us. Whenever that glitch happens Jamie and I are so thrilled that we don't get it fi...

Thanks so much for all your emails and text messages. Unfortunately, not one of you has rescued me yet, so I am still here and not in Cancun. Many of you wondered what was wrong. Oh, the 'What is wrong?' to a depressed person is mind-boggling. Not a thing is wrong. Everything is wrong. Not a thing is wrong and I have every reason to be thanking my lucky stars that I am the most fortunate girl ever. No one close to me is terminally ill, neither Jamie or I are having an affair and we get along better than many other married couples, we have a roof over our heads, and lots of friends and support, we're intelligent, witty, young and beautious. Also everything is wrong. What is my problem exactly? I have been contemplating this. Last night all I knew was that I have a problem, but putting my finger on what it is more complicated. Here goes. The weather is awful. I hate the winter with all of my heart. I don't even love the snow anymore because it means an entire load of l...