The Brattychick

Adam: Who's that burbling ? Heidi: I dunno. Some asshole driving like an asshole. Adam: Burble?

Dexter: Are you happy that you're catching fake little animals and enslaving them? Miles: They're real and it's okay.

Commitmentphobe : I'm freaking out some Heidi : Why? Commitmentphobe : Still seeing that guy. Getting feelings. It's hard. It's hard to adjust to someone And I'm so insecure Heidi : Aw. It's the first and best hill of the roller coaster. Enjoy it Commitmentphobe : I'm trying to do that and not just be sitting here afraid for the other shoe to drop He hasn't done anything wrong, it feels mean to distrust him, you know? But people are dicks Heidi : Yes. People are dicks and the other shoe will eventually drop. But hopefully the other shoe won't be a croc covered with dog shit. Maybe it'll just be like a penny loafer or something.

Cole: (pointing at whiteboard) Ipad sign up 4:20! Heidi: What? Cole: Ipad sign up 4:20! Heidi: Ugh. Why are you in high school? Cole: I don't know. Heidi: Stop saying that.

Dexter: Look at that sign. It says Cord for Board. Heidi: Yeah. Dexter: it should just say cord board. Because that's what it is. It's a board.

Miles (looking at those stick figure car stickers ): We need to get some of those people! Heidi : What? You can't just go and GET people, Miles. Cole : Unless you're in Syria 200 years ago or something. Heidi : Well, yeah...that, or you just go make people. Cole : Ooh, cool, I want to go make a person... Heidi : Noo. It's not time.

Coolgirl: can you think of anything bitchy i can say? Heidi: how about "don't worry, I'll keep your douschebaggery on the dl" but without the s because that looks german

StepfordHater: Where have you been? Heidi: i've been around why? StepfordHater: Haven't seen you in ages, not even running into you at TJ. Miss you. I can't believe Cole is 13. Heidi: sigh i know yikes i hate tj not the school I just have a phobia of other parents StepfordHater: I like talking to people. But sometimes it just makes me feel like a freak. Heidi: I fear that I am being judged although I may not be but I don't believe myself when myself tries to talk reason StepfordHater: Pfft. I think we can safely say that most of the time we ARE being judged. Heidi: Oh good! You think I am being judged too? So myself is not as crazy as myself previously thought? Or at least yourself is AS crazy as myself StepfordHater: lol. Silly. I think I'm being judged. But yeah, I'm sure you're being judged too. And statement #3 is my choice Heidi: awesome Also I am judging them but don't tell anyone While they talk Elmo and potty training with th...

M: You can't expect me to read minds. Heidi: Can't I expect you to put two and two together? M: No! I'm a boy and I'm retarded when it comes to emotions. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Heidi: Don't eat your shirt. Dexter: But there was something on it and it was yummy.

Heidi: Can I have this? Dexter: It depends. Heidi: On what? Dexter: It depends on if you're nice enough and don't say any bad words.

Heidi: Ow! Mickey: Did that hurt? Heidi: No. I was just trying to make you feel bad, but it didn't work because you have no soul. Mickey: That was so mean! Heidi: You said you were gonna kill me with your wine key! Mickey: You called me Canadian!

Mickey: We can't have our fake Jesus coughing up blood on the cross! It'll ruin the nativity scene! Heidi: The nativity scene doesn't have a cross! Mickey: It could.

Miles: How did Yoko Ono break up the Beatles? Heidi: She poisoned John Lennon with her horrible.

Cole: This hayride totally pwns the Belvedere Plantation one. They just have, like, a baby nailed to a post. Heidi: Crucify the baby! Cole: Tuppence a bag.

Heidi: Where is your backpack? Dexter: Oh Fuddruckers! I left it at school.

Heidi: I was kidding. Jamie: Oh. You forgot to put the funny in that joke.

Heidi: Are you a professional hooky player? Cole: yes. Heidi: What the puck?

Cole: I'm going to make a theme park and call it Spockland. Heidi: Are only Aspies allowed in? Cole: Yes.

While reading Savage Love ... Heidi: "for those of us girls who want to vomit at the thought of porn..." Really? Sara: Yeah. I don't like that. Heidi: You don't like porn? Sara: No, I don't like vomit.