The Brattychick

"You're making me look bad on internet! I'm not even thirteen!"

"I don't like them apples."

on Kristen Stewart ... "She looks like she forgot to bring her make-up to jail for five years."

Binge drinking on red wine is worse than you remember.

To Cole ... "Why didn't you eat your dessert first? What kind of kid are you?" Lest ye should wonder, this is not under Things I Never Thought I Would Say because I would totally say this.

"He shoots! He scores!" It's unbelievable, but in my house full of boys, this is the first time I've heard this. It made me really happy.

Water balloon slingshots may end in your arrest.

Buying your spouse a lapdance is not a good idea. Seriously you'll regret it around noon-ish tomorrow.

Don't joke with people who don't get jokes.

to Cole ... "You are going to kick your brother. Stop your riverdance."

to Miles ... "Stop singing ' Balls to the Wall .'"

"Do you know what the worst word is? Pee...nut...butt...er"

to Jamie ... "Take my underwear off your head if your gonna act like this."

"You were once the best sperm."

rhymes with shovelling. When your nose is really runny and you wipe it on your sleeve.

GIANTmicrobes.com : You can buy what ails you, and snuggle with it.

"Wouldn't it be funny if the Salvation Army was called into action? With their Santa suits and their ring-a-ling?"

About an icicle... "Don't eat that! It came off of a car!"

"Get your toes out of the pizza box!"

"Noozling is like nuzzling when your nose looks like a nozzle."

"Sporking. It's like spooning with your legs open."