The Brattychick

Miles : Which side of our family is crazy? Jamie : Both.

Miles was reading my email over my shoulder... Miles: Does WTF stand for "What's that for"? Heidi: Yes.

"I'm not asking you as a friend, I'm asking you as a filter!" Because I have none, as you well know. This was a question I asked after asking whether blogging a particular conversation would be in poor taste. The answer was yes.

"The cops are smarter than we thought."

Cole : Is there an opposite of a widow's peak that has a name? Jamie : Uh, male pattern baldness.

"Oh yeah! You thought I was lactating, but I'm old! "

Dexter : I love you, Mommy. Heidi: I love you too, chocolate-face. Dexter: That was my nickname in preschool.

"I don't get facebook, you hip teens."

"The early bird catches the worm, but the late owl gets to lick the beaters."

"I think I've caught up on the sleep I missed in high school."

Thomas : [Whilst drawing in the sand] We should make communism! Heidi: Um, ok. How do we make that? Do we all get crabs and shag each other? Thomas: [laughing] Uh, yeah. I think that is how we do that. Heidi: Or maybe it's the reverse. Thomas: I was just going to make it with a crescent moon and a sickle, but I think your way is more realistic. Heidi: We're gonna need some tofu.

While we were reading our yearbooks. Liz: 'You are a little weird, but sweet...' Heidi: Hey, all of mine say something like that. 'You are weird, but nice'...or 'You are odd, but fun.' Do people say that to everyone? Or am I really that weird? Liz: Yes. Heidi: Ha ha ha! No hesitation, huh? And all this time I was thinkin' I was kinda regular. Liz: Yeah, well, people that are a little weird understand you, but normal people do not get you. Heidi: Really? Do I know any normal people? Wait, they're real boring, right?

Liz : I'm totally going to cuss her out. I'm so going to be a bitch to her. Heidi: Oh sweet...I love that.

"I had to pee but then I holded my penis and I tooted."

Heidi: So the other day Jamie and I were in the swimming pool with my 4 year old niece and I whispered to her "I'm gonna go pinch uncle Jamie's butt.", and she was like "What?" and I said "I'm gonna go pinch uncle Jamie's butt.", she laughed and then she whispered very seriously, "Don't say butt." "Ummm, ok." I said, "What do you guys say?" and she said, "Giney" (pronouced JY-nee). So I said, "Ok, I'm gonna go pinch uncle Jamie on the jyneeee? " Jamie : I sure was surprised. Heidi: I know! Surprised that you had a giney! Robin : We say butt at our house, but J's not allowed to say that at school. Heidi: We say butt too. I grew up saying butt. There's nothing wrong with butt. It's just like the stupid euphemism thing . First it was butt, then it was bum, then hiney... Every time a kid freaks out about it, I'm just like "Ok, whatever. What's your stupid word?...

"Get your feet off the ceiling."

"I should do something productive...or sleep."