The Brattychick

I have so much of it lately that I've been having trouble functioning. I make a schedule each day with one small attainable goal each hour that is geared toward being good to myself. I've been doing it for three days. As you see, I've been blogging more. I also went to the gym, knitted, hung out with friends, and forced myself to eat. Since Jamie and I separated I've been in therapy twice a week and trying really hard to work on my issues. Initially, I realized I had never been alone. Like, ever. Learning to simply be alone in my house was a ridiculously horrible process that took months. I still have a rough night occasionally, but I think that's over for the most part. I'm going to live through this, though.Initially I wasn't sure, but I'm getting stronger every day.

"Heidi, I totally just squirted."

Dating as an adult sure is a weird thing when you haven't done it before. I'm 32 and the last time I had a boyfriend that wasn't Jamie, I was in high school. Dating with kids is also a weird thing. All of this is especially weird when your dating someone who hasn't lived with someone before, let alone been married. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Miles: We had our reading benchmark today. Dexter : What do you mark the bench with? Skidmarks?

I'll build walls to hide behind You'll bury your head While our castle of sand crumbles. And enough salt water Will fall from my eyes To wash it all away. And i'll watch you stare into the sun Long enough to burn out the memory Then when you've quite forgotten The vacancy will be too much I'll dive down into the cold abyss And hold my breath.