Please Don't Go. I'll Eat You Up, I Love You So

Thomas, David, & Melanie were raving about the movie Where the Wild Things Are. So last night I went to the movies all by myself, for the first time ever, I think.

For those of you that are not familiar, Where the Wild Things Are is a well loved children's picture book by Maurice Sendak. The book is certainly less than 100 words long, and so Max and The Wild Things are not given their full personalities by literature alone. The pictures, and what your imagination does with them, fill in the gaps and reach places that words cannot.

I was really curious as to how writers Spike Jonze and David Eggers were going to go about stretching this short book into a movie. Especially a book that wasn't theirs. Not one of The Wild Things in the book says anything that isn't in unison with the other Wild Things. I would be terrified to expand on a character that was another writer's vision with only illustrations to go by. And they had to create several in addition to fleshing out the main character Max, filling in not only his personality, but his back story and home life. To me, this would be a frightening task. What if you offend the original writer? What if you don't "see" it and fail to capture their story?

But I believe the story was captured. The imagery and music were fantastic. Even the palate of colors they use is as true as could be. Within the first few minutes, the movie grasps the spirit of what it's like to be a little boy so perfectly that it brought tears to my eyes. Moments in my childhood and scenes from my present life were in that movie with such reality, but all from the child's perspective. For instance, you can see that the mother is weary, but only if you're a grown-up, because the movie's heart is right there with Max, wishing that someone would play, or really listen. The child who plays Max (whose name is coincidentally Max Records) is either a fantastic actor or he really is Max.

The characters created for each Wild Thing were beautifully done. Each was distinct and equally touching. The casting of their voices was brilliant. Ira, voiced by Forest Whitaker, is sweet, soft-spoken and so soulful that it hurts. The volatile yet endearingly infantile Carol is voiced by James Gandolfini. Paul Dano (the brother from Little Miss Sunshine) is Alexander, the goat-ish Wild Thing. He is small, often overlooked and tragic. KW (Lauren Ambrose) is a misfit among misfits. The Bull (Michael Berry Jr.) is silent until the end, but the few words that he does say are touching and teach us not to judge a book by it's cover. The always fantastic Catherine O'Hara is Judith, the self-proclaimed "Downer". The strong stoic Douglas (who resembles an eagle or some such other regal bird) is voiced by Chris Cooper (militant neighbor from American Beauty). In the beasts you will find members of your own family. At the same time, you realize that they all also represent pieces of Max, and pieces of us all.

This movie will touch places inside you that you'd completely forgotten were there. I saw flashes of all of the little boys I've ever loved in Max's face, spirit, and demeanor. I saw the sister and mother giving Max lip-service because they were busy. Though I could sympathize, the story is told completely through Max's eyes, so what I really saw was my boys' perspective when I don't really hear them.

And then...I remember that feeling! I remember the adults promising to play with me when they finished their coffee. I would wait and wait, flumping around on the ground, lying under the coffee table, while they slowly sipped. Then the coffee would get cold and they'd reheat that never-ending cup of coffee.

I remembered the feeling of being out of control and not knowing why or being able to stop. The adults around me wondering what was wrong with me. Surely spending time, as adults do, trying to figure out what was going on below. Sometimes it's obvious and sometimes not. But I remembered being a child, living on the surface, simply acting out whatever I was feeling with no thought or care to where it came from or why it was there.

Is there anything more beautiful and full of hope and promise than a child? I remembered being that child. I remembered being in the place where someone loved me best of all, and I remembered someone looking at me with complete adoration and commenting with pride on how clever, talented, and full of potential I was. I remembered what it felt like to be King Of This World.

I remembered experiencing things that could not be made right. I recalled looking to my parents to fix it and the sickening scary realization that they had limits, that some things cannot be fixed, that there are gray areas where there is no right answer.

I recognized pieces of myself in those Wild Things. Pessimistic, Tantrum-Thrower, Pushed Around, Ignored, Defensive, Strange, Misunderstood pieces of me. There were some pieces that I wished weren't there, but they are. But when the pieces are examined as individuals in The Wild Things, I realized that they all deserve to be embraced. Because as nightmarish as they can be in their negative state, they also have something very needed and wonderful to offer when at peace. Pessimist becomes Realist. Tantrum-Thrower becomes Child-Like. Pushed Around becomes Meek. Ignored becomes Tender-Hearted. Defensive becomes Resilient. Strange becomes One Of A Kind. Misunderstood becomes Teacher.

When it was time for Max to sail away, I first thought of the "I want to go home" feeling. Sometimes I get that feeling when I'm already in the place that I live. Home: Where someone loves you best of all. Where there's someone to take care of you and can heal any harm done. Warm and welcoming home. Where you really belong.

I cried for the volatile Wild Thing who was Max's best friend. Because of his temper, he missed giving Max a hug good-bye. But it made sense. Lesson learned for the grudge-holding, ill-tempered piece of me. That sort of behavior leads to missed opportunities.

Max sailing away also symbolized to me the leaving behind of childhood and venturing out into the world. The wandering misfit Wild Thing whispered to Max, "Don't go. I'll eat you up, I love you so." And I thought of my little brothers and eventually my boys sailing away from their childhood island and leaving me behind. How I want for them to all to succeed and be happy and have adventures, but how painful to miss them, and how I long for the adventures they will have. Am I a Wild Thing stuck on childhood island? Did I run away from reality and get stuck somewhere in the In-Between? Maybe not even a real person? Maybe not even a whole person? Maybe not ever destined to sail away myself? Maybe with nowhere to go where someone loves me best of all? Have I squandered all of my talents, hope and promise? Is it too late for me? All this nostalgia makes me feel lost.

Although, I did have bearings enough to know to kiss my boys fifteen times each when I got home.