Thomas Says 004

On my parents un-built condo purchase...

"We bought a block of air in the sky in hopes that someone would build wood, stone and brick around it."

Things I Never Thought I Would Say 010

"Please don't dance with your banana bread."

Dexter Says 019

"Toots are air dat comes out of your butt."

Hold The Phone!

I never answer my home phone. Usually when it rings my response is "F off!" or "What is this?" I always wonder who could possibly be calling me and what in the world they could want. I feel like I have absolutely no information that someone would actually require. Of course that's ridiculous. Sometimes I don't answer because I am in the middle of something really important like blogging or laying naked on my bed at 2:30 pm. I can't be interrupted during that stuff! Other times I'm helping with homework or we're having dinner or one-on-one time with one of the kids and I don't answer the phone during that.

Every once in a while our phone gets this glitch. The glitch is that when people call us they get a recording that their phone is out of order. It's brilliant because it takes them days to realize that their phone is only out of order when they call us. Whenever that glitch happens Jamie and I are so thrilled that we don't get it fixed for weeks. It's a clever trick.

My girl, Robin, points out that I do return phone calls even though I won't answer the phone. I've given it some thought and have figured it out. Because of my current hectic mommy lifestyle, when people call me they are inevitably interrupting either important time with my family, or important time without my family. It annoys me because it's not on my schedule, I guess. So yeah, I'll call you back on my time table and we'll just pray that you don't have my phone issues. Or you could just email me. Emailing is hot.

Nothing Makes Any Sense

The Ladies' Section

I shall be ending each paragraph of this blog with a one word sentence. It will serve as a palate cleanser since this is the most disjointed blog I ever writ. Word.

As I write this a pill that makes me sleepy is coming to get me, so forgive me if it goes astray. I feel crummy today. There aren't enough hours and I don't have enough energy. Today was a waste. It was one of those days where at four-ish I realized that I was going to do nothing productive and wished I could just fast forward to tomorrow. Wah.

I had my ten year high school reunion this past weekend. It was really fun and a pretty good cross-section of those kids. I liked hanging with old friends and catching up with acquaintances. I especially liked talking to all the shy kids who ended up coming out of their shell as they grew up and are the witty and charming people I suspected they always were. In the end I felt like I recovered some old friends and made some new ones. Yay.

So I am feeling restless lately. Every once in a while the flighty Heidi resurfaces and tries to get me to fly away. Back in high school when stuff would get bad I would run away. It always seemed like a great idea at the time, but the fact is that no girl wants to keep a teenage runaway girl, but all the boys sure do want to. I ended up running right into a brick wall of more (worse?) trouble every time. I sure do have an awful story about that for you someday when the statute of limitations is up. Yikes.

I need to play music again. My guitars are lonesome. I need to take a music composition class and learn how to write music. Maybe I need to just start taking classes at NOVA again. I don't know. Maybe I am just restless. Rock!

I just joined the year 2000 and started posting to Craig's List. Wow, that sure does work like magic! I left some crap in my mailbox and someone replaced it with 11 dollars in cash. I didn't even have to speak to the chick! I just hermitted in my house and didn't even have to make small talk or deal with shipping crap like I have to on Ebay! Cha-ching!

Christmas stresses me out and I used to love it. Humbug!

Sometimes it's lonely even in a house full of people. Sigh.

Actually looking back on this blog I think that you may be able to get the gist of it just by reading the one word blurbs at the end of each paragraph.

The Mens' Section

Word.
Wah.
Yay.
Yikes.
Rock!
Cha-Ching!
Humbug!
Sigh.

Yup, Yeah, that pretty much sums it up right there. Man, why I gotsta be so verbose? Maybe I should do this in the future on all my blogs for those of you with Aspergers Syndrome, ADHD, or maybe you are short on time, or suffering from an affliction called Having-A-Penis which means that you have the attention span of a chihuahua. Or maybe all of the above (Jamie?). I must do it now - retroactively. CHINGA!

Dexter Says 018

After giving him his breakfast and telling him it was a Frittata.

"Where are the ta tas?"

Cool Website 004

Make A Snowflake

A Thanksgiving Song For You

Copyright Heidi Jackson

Turkey In The Wind

Good-bye Thanksgiving Turkey
Though I never knew you well,
You tasted awesome
And I really liked your smell!

Even when you died,
All the newspapers had to say
Was that you were delicious,
Except with giblet grav-ay.

It seems to me you lived your life
Like a turkey in the wind.
Never knowing who to cling to when it was Thanksgiving
And I woulda liked to have known you when you lived.
Your body made it to the freezer section,
But your head never did.

Dexter Says 017

"Say whatever to drugs."

Dexter Says 016

"Do not wear drugs, do not wear drugs on your shirt. On your shirt."