Where Are Their Parents?

I need a nap. The pseudovent and caffeine didn't wear off yesterday until FOUR IN THE MORNING.

For some reason it's like Lord of the Flies over here today. Dexter somehow misplaced all the clothing on the lower half of his body and he is trying to force-feed Miles plastic ice cream. Cole just stabbed Miles in the nipple with a pencil. Miles took all the bedclothes off of not one, not two, but three beds in the house today. I don't know why he would do such a thing, but I can only assume that it's because I am freaking stressed out because of the BIG DEAL THING-Os coming up in rapid succession and he is trying to make me crack under the stress.

Every once and a while I look and my children and ask them "Where are your parents? They should come pick you all up because I have been babysitting for a REALLY long time now!"

They just stare at me blankly. No one in my house thinks I am funny.

Other times I try my luck at confusing someone else into thinking that they are really the parents. Shawn just called and I told him "You should really get over here and make your children behave. They're driving me crazy." This has yet to work, even though I've tried it on a number of different sources.

You know, any other human in the world would understand if you said to them "Hey, I am really frazzled and I need some space. Could you go read a book or play with a toy or something for a little while so I can have some peace?" However, if you say that to kids, they just get closer and louder and then they start climbing you like a tree.

ARGH! THE PHONE IS RINGING.....STOP CALLING ME! DON'T YOU KNOW I AM ON THE VERGE OF LOSING WHAT SANITY I HAD LEFT!

SPASM

I am so hepped up on caffeine and pseudovent today that I can't decide on what to blog about.

Should I talk about how I shouldn't even be on this website right now because I have THREE BIG DEAL THING-Os coming up in rapid succession? Should I say that I am really freaking busy and told myself that I would only look at email for 10 minutes this morning because I procrastinated for the last week and now I have all these BIG DEAL THING-Os that need to be worked on?

BIG DEAL THING-Os
1. COLE'S 8TH BIRTHDAY PARTY
2. COLE'S BAPTISM
3. A VACATION TO ORLANDO FLORIDA

Should I tell you how I am freaking getting old because when I was 17 I lived in California for 3 months and I met these awesome boys Zachie and Keith (if you are a single girl in Southern California I would recommend that you find one of these boys and get them to fall in love with you...NOW). Anyhoo, I had to move away due to circumstances beyond my control. It was sad to break up our gleesome threesome because these two very A-MAZING people changed my life, but we all three promised to meet in 10 years in this empty lot where we used to have our shenanigans. Zachie just reminded me that it'll be 10 years this December. So I am getting old (boo) but I do get to visit two of my favorite people (yippee).

Lastly, I was thinking about telling you that I think I may be failing at everything. I feel really unsettled lately. Jamie thinks it may have something to do with the fact that I haven't had my anti-anxiety medication in several weeks, but I say "hogwash". I mostly say "hogwash" because who the heck says "hogwash"? It's not because I think he may be wrong that I am a wreck because there are no calming meds in my system. I'm pretty sure he is absolutely right. I merely say "hogwash" because somebody needs to say it, otherwise it will become obsolete. I mean, do I seem distracted and unsettled to you?

Birth Control Sucks

So I recently went off birth control. It's something insane that I do from time to time so that I can have my sex drive back and also so I can make my husband nervous.

I don't think I am going to go back on it. I mean, I kinda sorta really love my sex drive. I have missed it SO. I forgot how much I loved it.

We can live with condoms....right? RIGHT?

I think I should be allowed to have my sex drive...and my shopping spree.