Where Are Their Parents?

I need a nap. The pseudovent and caffeine didn't wear off yesterday until FOUR IN THE MORNING.

For some reason it's like Lord of the Flies over here today. Dexter somehow misplaced all the clothing on the lower half of his body and he is trying to force-feed Miles plastic ice cream. Cole just stabbed Miles in the nipple with a pencil. Miles took all the bedclothes off of not one, not two, but three beds in the house today. I don't know why he would do such a thing, but I can only assume that it's because I am freaking stressed out because of the BIG DEAL THING-Os coming up in rapid succession and he is trying to make me crack under the stress.

Every once and a while I look and my children and ask them "Where are your parents? They should come pick you all up because I have been babysitting for a REALLY long time now!"

They just stare at me blankly. No one in my house thinks I am funny.

Other times I try my luck at confusing someone else into thinking that they are really the parents. Shawn just called and I told him "You should really get over here and make your children behave. They're driving me crazy." This has yet to work, even though I've tried it on a number of different sources.

You know, any other human in the world would understand if you said to them "Hey, I am really frazzled and I need some space. Could you go read a book or play with a toy or something for a little while so I can have some peace?" However, if you say that to kids, they just get closer and louder and then they start climbing you like a tree.

ARGH! THE PHONE IS RINGING.....STOP CALLING ME! DON'T YOU KNOW I AM ON THE VERGE OF LOSING WHAT SANITY I HAD LEFT!