Dexter Visits The ER. Again.

As I have mentioned on occasions prior to this, Dexter is a madman. Last Friday we were at a playground and he was going up the slide (which I have told him repeatedly not to do) and he fell and split his chin open.

Off we went to the emergency room, but not just any emergency room, the ER at Children's Hospital in DC. We learned our lesson to steer clear of regular ERs with children roughly eight years ago. It had something to do with a three day old, an IV, and a student nurse that is lucky I let her live.

Once we finally got there we only had to wait 4 hours before being seen. The people at the hospital were wonderful, but it was extremely traumatic nonetheless. I almost perished. They wrapped my son in a papoose and gave him some sort of topical anesthetic. He screamed and shook his head and stuck his tongue out in an effort to cover his chin with the only thing that was available. He sobbed and I sobbed right along with him. But the thing that nearly did me in was the pleading. "Please stop! Please, no!" And then the nail in the coffin, "Please help me Daddy!" At this point I started to get light-headed and my teeth started chattering, something I do when I am in labor or have a broken femur. She was tying the final knot when he shook his head in such a way that they had to start all over.

He finally was able to calm down a bit with two shots of Novocaine in the chin, me singing in his ear and Jamie holding his head and coaching him.

So Dexter now has five stitches on his chin. He calls it a 'man boo boo'. I had never experienced stitches with either of my brothers nor with my two older sons. Jamie informs me that this will not be my last experience with stitches. I fear that he is right. Dexter isn't four yet, and we've had him in the ER 3 times. The first time was because he kamikazed off of the couch and broke his collarbone. The second time was because his popsicle got stuck to his tongue and left a big blister on his cheek that I thought might be frostbite.

I told him that he needed to be careful with his body because we couldn't buy a new one if he broke it. His response was "My body is crazy." I believe he is right and it may be me that has to get used to it instead of him being more careful.

I Love Myself

Heidi: Watcha singin' Dexter?

Dexter: It's called 'I Love Myself'.

Cole: A song about Dexter, lover of himself.

Please Pass the Peas

Heidi: You have to eat some peas tomorrow.

Miles: But I don't like peas.

Heidi: But we have to see if that's what you're intolerant to. You have to eat a little bowl of peas.

Miles: But I want salt on them.

Jamie: You can have salt on them.

Miles: But Mommy doesn't usually put salt on them.

Jamie: She will tomorrow. Mommy will let you do whatever you want with them tomorrow.

Miles: Like throw them in the garbage?

Living in the Dark Ages

I can't believe that this is the year 2006. Some souls aren't allowed to marry the soul they'd like to. People blow each other to bits because of differences in their peace-preaching religion. The feminist movement is moving backwards. We have only had Christian white men in the white house. In fact, it's mostly white men running the show everywhere. I don't have anything against Christian white men, but I believe in moderation and I think diversity in our leaders would be a good idea.

White skin + penis = good decision making?

Umm, in my experience this is not necessarily so.

On the other hand we're so obsessed with being politically correct.

Retarded > Mentally Handicapped > Mentally Challenged > Special Needs

Colored > Negro > Black > African American

Lame > Crippled > Invalid > Disabled

We have to keep making up new euphemisms. Sometimes the word really does have a negative connotation, but usually the reason we make up a new word for something is that we have a prejudice about it and therefore we deem the word as 'bad'. Eventually the prejudice follows us to the new word. So we have to make up another new euphemism. Many times the euphemisms just get longer and longer.

Why can't we spend as much effort getting rid of prejudices as we do making up new words that make us feel safe in our own hypocrisy?

I don't know much at all about politics, like some of you do, but I know that everyone just ought to be accepted and have their basic human rights because they have a soul, and not based on anything else.

Here's the thing, I just want everyone to have their basic rights already. I can't believe we're still discriminating on the basis of sex, religion, race, and sexual orientation! All four! I mean, we haven't even stopped discrimination based on even just one of those things yet! Let's just get it over with and elect a Jewish-black-lesbian to the presidency next term. I think it would do wonders. Who's with me?

Bibliography "The Euphemism Treadmill"