Thomas Says

"I don't understand Thailand."

Jokes We Made Up

Q: What did the ammonia say to the vinegar?

A: I'll have a blue litmus without you.

By: Cole

Jamie Says

"The baconator?! It hardly knew her!"

Things I Should Tattoo On My Wrist

Don't switch your phone to Korean. It's very hard to find the English button after that.

Steven Says

"The combobulator is all messed up."

Miles Says

"take a sniff at the mojo."

Heidi Says

"I hate you, stoppy person."

Dexter Says

While in Annandale... "Are we in Chinatown?"

Abby Says

"Eat the bottle, you terd."

Robin Says

"You can have my accidental water."

J Says

"Mommy, did you just seriously call the car a douche?"

Unhappy Ending

Once upon a time it started
Girl was sad and broken-hearted
If she jumped, would this boy be there?
With her he would go anywhere

Eyes so blue, hair like a raven
For awhile you were my haven
With your hand cradling my head
Your stories soothe my heart to bed

Then I see some trouble deeper
Breathing life into the sleeper
You've sold me on the art you paint
I kill myself to be your saint

I'm showing you were we would go
A place better than we could know
Just shine! You'll be much more than good
Just be the man you know you could

You don't want to be saved, do you?
I try so hard to rescue you
And how do you show you love me
A boulder placed on top of me

As my heart slows down it's beating
You ask me if I'm still breathing
I answer yes, you look away
"Then we have time," is all you say

You disregard my every tear
You mock my pain, you fuel my fear
All your promises recanted
How am I not disenchanted?

When your final blow was dealt me,
You can't see why it's not healthy
To you the rules never apply
No choice left but to say goodbye

You let me go for nothing real
And words can't say how bad it feels
To know you're doing what you do:
Erasing all the love we knew

Not me, I live to hold the truth
Like photos from the kissing booth
I'll file your memory away
I'll face the music every day

How I miss your hands and body
Pointy smile after we're naughty
Armadillo, Marco, Polo
I can't stand this sleeping solo

Today I listened to your song
I cried for you and what went wrong
I wish that I could make you see
I wish you'd cared enough for me

Once upon a time it started
Girl was sad and broken-hearted...

Robin Says

"You can still like grapefruit and be a freak in bed."

IM Hilarious: Fuck

Jon: This is me, having given my last fuck of the day.
Hope yours is better (day, that is).
me: Wow. That didn't take very long.
You must have not started out with very many fucks.
Jon: I rarely do.

Crabs

Heidi Says

"I like artsy japanesey things...like karaoke and bukkake."

I Have Awesome Friends

I'm not great at putting things out of my head, especially important things. I also can't lie to myself and act like something didn't matter to me that really did. The last week has been hard as I go through a grieving process for what I'd hoped would be, see the sad reality of the demise of my relationship, concentrate on myself and start moving forward.
Sometimes I'm strong and focused and others that I struggle with the prospect of starting over.
My friends have been so supportive and awesome. Thank-you so much for the Wednesday morning Starbucks crew, the slumber parties, the phone calls and texts, the low key hang outs, my awesome co-workers.
I appreciate it so much.

Breaking Point

I now find myself in a new empowering place. Single and ok with it. I ended my relationship of over a year the other day. I can't really remember a time where I didn't jump into a new intense committed relationship as soon as I ended one. I've come a long way and the alone doesn't kill me anymore.
Of course I'm very sad. Even when you know it's time to quit it's hard and heartbreaking. I loved him very much and had hoped we could make it work in spite of my firm grasp on realism and a million red flags telling me that we couldn't. There were times when I wanted to fight to make it happen. There were times when I would watch the red flags go by and not even mention them. It was kind of a mercy killing. Eventually I knew it was dying and I just let us both kill it.
We really loved each other very much and the wish was tremendous that love would conquer all. That we would overcome our issues and be amazing. We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We wanted to live happily ever after.
There were really some wonderful qualities about the relationship. We could be playful and make each other laugh indefinitely. We had very intense chemistry. He had a remarkable ability to soothe me when he felt up to it. Whenever he would spiral I would rescue him and remind him of all the amazing things about him and his awesome potential. He could come up with beautifully worded fairy tale stories on the fly that were metaphors for whatever it was we were going through. I was good at at pulling his head out of the clouds and putting his feet on the ground, articulating precisely what reality was and getting him to see. His romantic self fought to make us work each time my flighty self gave up. I loved him when he felt unlovable and motivated him when he would sink. He did things that were hard for him to try to make it work. I patiently tried to show him a way that we could get to where we wanted to go and gave way too many chances when he wanted exception after exception to deviate from what he knew was right.
We all have a breaking point. Mine may be way beyond anyone else's though. He pushed me too far too many times. He has a good heart, but the exceptions were making me crazy and making the lovely things about us disappear. Though it's a loss, it was absolutely the right thing to do. No one deserves to be treated that way and when my breaking point came it was clear and the only option.
I'm really proud of myself.