I Don't Have A Crush On You

Ugh. I need to make a tee shirt that says:

ATTENTION:
I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU, POMPOUS ASS
I am a very friendly and jokey person with everyone.
This does not mean that you make me swoon.
It probably just means I think you are cool.
I am married.
Even if I happen to tell you I have a crush on you
(which I did not),
I am exaggerating.
It does not mean that I am in love with you.
Unless you are Amanda. I am totally in love with Amanda.
So don't be an idiot, you moron.

You're so vain. I bet you think this blog is about you. Don't you? DON'T YOU?
Dumdum.