IM Hilarious: Jaded Mamas

StepfordHater: Where have you been?

Heidi: i've been around
why?

StepfordHater: Haven't seen you in ages, not even running into you at TJ. Miss you.
I can't believe Cole is 13.

Heidi:sigh
i know
yikes
i hate tj
not the school
I just have a phobia of other parents

StepfordHater: I like talking to people. But sometimes it just makes me feel like a freak.

Heidi: I fear that I am being judged
although
I may not be
but I don't believe myself when myself tries to talk reason

StepfordHater: Pfft. I think we can safely say that most of the time we ARE being judged.

Heidi: Oh good! You think I am being judged too?
So myself is not as crazy as myself previously thought?
Or at least yourself is AS crazy as myself

StepfordHater: lol. Silly. I think I'm being judged. But yeah, I'm sure you're being judged too. And statement #3 is my choice

Heidi: awesome
Also I am judging them
but don't tell anyone
While they talk Elmo and potty training with their ridiculous outfit and makeup for no one I smile to myself and think "You silly sucker."

StepfordHater: of course you are. most people are wandering around judging other people. in your case, however, I just miss seeing you around.

Heidi: Oh right! We should do summathat

StepfordHater: huh, I am learning to escape all the toddler baby talk.
But I still feel somewhat jealous on the outfit/makeup thing as I wander around in my wet hair and pjs
If only I could at least manage a decent ponytail

Heidi: Hmph. I just feel cuter because I'm about a thousand years younger.

StepfordHater: LOL
you are both of those fo sure

Heidi: So myself scoffs and says myself "Your makeup can't fix the old"
which is a horrible thing to say
because I will be old soon

StepfordHater: younger at heart goes a long way too. S is much older and she seems youthful in spirit to me.
I've been feeling way old lately.

Heidi: oh yes, I am young at heart
I'm like
10
maybe

StepfordHater: Umm yeah I don't think so.

Heidi: you don't think I'm quite 10?

StepfordHater: 8 maybe.

Heidi: but I have such a potty mouth for an 8 year old
Why are you feeling so old?
brush your ponytail and buy some lipgloss
and cute socks
and matching underwear
that your husband likely won't notice

StepfordHater: I'm cold all the time and my knees hurt. Ancient.

Heidi: I have crows feet and gray hair that just appeared this year

StepfordHater: I bought a package of mens black socks to wear to bed so my toes don't turn flippin purple.
soooo cold
crows feet is not right - you mean laughing eyes, right?

Heidi: hm. laughing eyes? They are quite silent
and wrinkly