An Interview With Miles

What is something your mom always says to you?

"This room is a mess."

What makes your mom happy?

The computer.

What makes your mom sad?

When Daddy falls asleep when you're talking to him. Which has happened one time. Like right now.

How does your mom make you laugh?

When she pinches my bosom.

What was your mom like as a child?

I dunno. Some little girl.

How old is your mom?

30 something.

How tall is your mom?

I don't know, maybe 2 feet or something.

What is her favorite thing to do?

Smell people's feet and make a horrible noise.

What does your mom do when you're not around?

I don't know, I'm not around. Maybe sit and play Youda Sushi Chef until midnight and fall asleep and watch Eddie Izzard for the fiftieth time.

If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

For the biggest nostrils ever.

What is your mom really good at?

Facebook.

What is your mom not very good at?

Doing tongue twisters.

What does your mom do for a job?

Answer phones and watch monkeys.

What is your mom's favorite food?

Chickety China the Chinese chicken.

What makes you proud of your mom?

Her weird names like Brattychick. Who would ever think of 'Brattychick'?

If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Dudley Do-Right. (me: Who's that?) Some freak.

What do you and your mom do together?

Play games.

How are you and your mom the same?

We're both very good at video games and we're addicted...and Daddy's not.

How are you and your mom different?

She has a gigantic eyebrows and I have smallgantic eyebrows that are not see-able. And that is a word I just made up.

How do you know your mom loves you?

When I was 5 or something and I sat on the table and broke her plates, she didn't throw me out the window.

What does your mom like most about your dad?

Everything he doesn't (like about himself) like his goatee.

Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

Applebees