Listy

I can do anything whilst having sex. Including, but not limited to blogging, yelling at my kids, talking about pooping, sleeping soundly, making a grocery list, talking to you on the phone...Oh yes, it was you.

I cannot think of anything to blog about today, hence listy.

I am in the middle of writing a dark comedy monologue and it's really something.

You say it's not natural, but I think you might not be doing it right.

If you think you are the first boy that has propositioned me and that I'm going to give my whole life up for you, you are sorely mistaken.

And also? Mentioning the size of your penis is not a good pick up line. Because, so what? She probably has a sex toy that's bigger. And it vibrates. Do you vibrate? No? Oh, well, maybe you need a better pick up line then.

My hair is ridiculously long.

I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin.

My husband is superman.

Yawn.

I have a titanium rod and screws in my leg and it grosses me out.

I have seven scars from the above surgery and I named each of them after the seven sisters constellation.

My kids all have really good senses of humor.

I need to meet new people to survive.

I'm afraid of commitment.

My sleeping pill is kicking in and I need to pass out now. Otherwise I will start rambling about aquariums and rain forests and candy. Especially marshmallows.